IMAGINE all the people living for today...

I’ve been gradually getting weaker and more sick the last few weeks. I’ve had many things come up and diagnosis because my body can’t fight off anything right now. 

My sepsis has lost it’s mind and yesterday I was told that this might be the last year I see. That isn’t set in stone so we will see but I’m preparing for the worst by hoping and doing that best if that makes any sense. 

Today, June 1st, I am off to do more blood work. Get protein levels checked, kidney function, (which has already decreased) liver function, and a number of other things. I might get a possible head scan today if they feel I should need another one at this point.  I am in pain right now, a lot, but nothing compared to the typical pain I have been feeling. Hopefully  I can have fun and hang out with friends and actually laugh and enjoy it. Hopefully my pain medicine is good to me today. I might even get stronger pain medicine today. Who knows. I am hoping I don’t get put in ICU again today. I might though. I have a feeling in the next couple days I will be. It will be the third time in the space of a month I have been in the ER or ICU. Once there was no ER just to the ICU for a few days of treatments. 


Depending on the hour depends on if I can move what I can do. My pain. I’ll be ok one minutes and crying the next from what feels like people stomping on my head and throwing knives at random spots on my body. 

The hardest part if having to tell my boyfriend while he’s in Afganistan he may never see me again. I don’t know how to handle telling my closest friends. Part of me doesn’t want to tell them but I know that I need to. =/ 

Everyone says have hope right now. 
I’m starting tomorrow by trying to do anything I can that I have wanted to my entire life. I’m going to get out and do whatever I can until I can’t anymore. Which could only be a few more weeks. 

I need to plan something with my friends. Together. I just really don’t have any idea what to do. 

I will start posting pictures and writing long things about how my life is going day to day or as much as I can. I am thankful for the time I have had with friends from all over the world and things I got to do and experience with my life. I’m mostly scared right now but not as much as I thought I would be. I mostly just feel that I need to live out my life the best i can, starting right here and right now. 

This is it. Moment where I have to start doing what I can and what I want. No holding back. 

Any suggestions of how to have a grand ol’ time before I can’t anymore.  

I’m not looking for more followers or to get this reblogged a million times. I could care less. But when I’m in so much pain majority of the time I will be on this site because I can’t physically do anything but read and just stay in one spot. 

I just am trying to not feel so lonely at this point in time. 

I’m up to seven (different pills) a day. I start two more today. Well one is a pill one is a spray i have to use multiple times a day to keep my lungs and throat from closing up from imflammation and such. Two of these pills I take twice a day. I still have my two types of insulin. This just isn’t fun but it’s not going to stop me from trying to have fun even though I feel beaten and hopeless multiple times throughout the day. 

I do love my followers though. I think every single one of them has posted something that has made me laugh or smile. =) I love it. And that’s the best thing I could ask for from anyone especially right now. So, thank you guys! 

<3 

artemiscornwallace:

My mom always had this gum in her purse when I was little

ZEBRA! 

Did anyone ever master the tattoos on your tongue from the wrappers? haha 

O my goodness! =D 

(Source: iraffiruse, via clungemuffin)

(Source: hiphophead37, via jenenaface)

jenenaface:

ok

keithmorris:

i wanted to know what a duck looked like without a beak so i googled it and ive been laughing at this photo for about 3 minutes

(via jenenaface)

handclaps-and-loudsighs:

this is honestly SO AMAZING. gotta love Luke!!

Ok… there are few celebrities where I’m like MMMM

Jason Statham
Luke Bryan
Jason Castro
and
Adam Lavine.  

(Source: caanucklehead, via littlexsweetxthing)

extraordinarymegs:

This is the most beastly thing I’ve ever seen. Ever.

(Source: cheeksandgrease)

greasyfingers:

LOL!